It's like no matter how good things are with me in every other area, if things suck with him, everything sucks. I can get distracted from it super easy, but it always creeps back into my mind. Its scary. It's not normal Its not ok with me. Feeling not good enough, and feeling like i'm just being used and i'm letting it happen kills me. I dont know how to act, or what to say, cuz it all comes out wrong. I made a mistake, and i get to pay for it. Whats sad is, what if i end up paying for it forever. What if i got aids or something? I mean, he's been with so amny women, i doubt he can even count that high. I'm such a fucking idiot.