My eyes feel all salty adn stingy from crying earlier. But i feel like everything is ok. I got inot my American Litertaure II class and things went good. The people in there were really cool today so it made me feel alot better. I realize i can care about other people and not him. And its ok that way. Even safer. It bugs me that i don't matter, but i guess thats a part of life and i need to get used to it. You can't make somone care. and he doesnt need to. If his consious can be clear knowing that then i can mkae mine be that way too. Its usually ok with me. But sometimes after seeing brian and everyone so happy together, it mkaes me want someone thats happy wiht me too. But maybee some day. I just dont know. This is nothing, adn it means nothing adn it kills me but its what i chose, so i get ot live with it. My fault, my consequences.